Sidecars, Il Bronzino and Reframing Harassment

Allegory of the Triumph of Venus

In an attempt to put myself though through grad school, (because I, unfortunately, do not have a trust fund), I took a job as a cocktail waitress (after I left my previous position as a paralegal at a large corporate firm) at a bar/restaurant where my roommate, Joey, is a bartender. I’ve worked in the restaurant industry before, but never in New York City. At about 11 p.m. Monday night during my first shift there (the exact time that our dinner menu ends and our late night menu begins), a gentleman comes in and sits down in my section. I had one other table finishing their drinks and while I was a bit eager to go home, I was already there finishing up my shift. Right off the bat, this guy is a character–loud and talkative. He orders bottled water (instructions: a bottle that’s not too big or too small) without carbonation (because recent studies show that carbonation leads to stomach cancer and drinking hot liquids leads to esophageal cancer). He tells me that the only women he’s met before that looked like me were from Kazakhstan and Turkmenistan. When I told him I was Chinese and Italian he responded with “Spicy.” He proceeds to order a sidecar (not too sweet, really cold, with ice chips still floating in it). When he’s ready to order, he asks me if I want to dance. Too tired to really entertain him, I replied: Not until my shift is over. He then says, well I’m going to make you dance and orders our organic chicken dish (but substitutes the sweet potato hash for the potato gratin) and then proceeds to return the sidecar (because it was “the worst sidecar he ever had in his life,”) for a glass of the cab.

Madonna col Bambino e San Giovannino

I promise there’s a point to this story. The subsequent interaction goes as follows: he asks me what I’m doing with my life (I give him the art history spiel and tell him I was a sociology major). He tells me I need to read Randall Collins and all about Conflict Theory, he tells me that Bronzino was THE best Renaissance painter there was and he tells me that I need to read Peter Schjeldahl’s art critiques because they are sometimes “better than the art they are reviewing.” He said he was in “astrology” and asked me if I recently had a birthday (I did). Strange way to end the night.

I suspect that this will be the first in a series of somewhat questionable encounters that are the inevitable result of working in the restaurant industry. The experience wasn’t particularly bothersome and perhaps true to nature of giving everyone the benefit of the doubt, it was a harmless exchange between someone seeking conversation after a long day of work and someone who serves food and alcohol (although I didn’t particularly appreciate the spicy comment).

“It was a pleasure lecturing you…what’s your name?”

“Danielle.”

“Danielle, it was a pleasure lecturing you, Danielle. You said this was your first night?”

“Yes.”

“Well, I’d say you’re in the bonus round.”

A bit about Il Bronzino: Agnolo di Cosimo (1503-1572) usually know as Il Bronzino or Agnolo Bronzino. He was an Italian Mannerist painter from Florence and it is likely that his name refers to his relatively dark skin. (Works pictured above).

A bit about Peter Schjeldahl: He’s the head art critic for The New Yorker and has written for The New York Times, ARTNews, and The Village Voice. He’s also written several books of poetry and has taught at Harvard in the Department of Visual and Environmental Studies.

A bit about Randall Collins and conflict theory: Randall Collins is a professor at the University of Pennsylvania and is a leading contemporary theorist with the following areas of expertise: marco-historical sociology of political and economic change; micro-sociology (face-to-face interaction); and the sociology of intellectuals and social conflict. He is considered to be one of the leading non-Marxist conflict theorists in the United States. Conflict theory emphasizes the role of coercion and power in producing social order.